Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Attack of the Daisy Dukes

Too frequently over the last few months BushCorp™'s various scandals du jour have distracted me from the Big Issues, something I intend to correct.

For a fog has enveloped the land, people across this great nation have been wandering in a haze muttering, muttering, why, why, why a Dukes of Hazzard movie?

And until this morning I had no answer.

Now I'm not saying it's right, or good, or that I agree with it, but while reading the local rag I had a eureka moment of clarity: the Dukes of Hazzard movie is nothing less than a blatant attempt to bring back short shorts.

Think about it, what other reason could there be?

So, 5 years into the Bush/Dobson administration, the country's repressed sexuality is finally bubbling over onto the surface, no doubt especially in the red states so honored by the Dukes movie.

Sadly I have no suggestions for withstanding this latest assault on American morals. Certainly we can combat aggressors abroad, but how to fight the homegrown insurgency of Ms. Simpson's denim clad bottom?

I'm at a loss.

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