Sunday, April 01, 2007

BREAKING: Iraq invasion hoax revealed

In a stunning revelation President Bush, along with the CEOs of the major media conglomerates, revealed today that the "War in Iraq" was entirely frabricated.

Grinning from ear to ear, the President announced to a stunned nation: "C'mon, I'm a uniter not a divider. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to invade a country whose only connection with al Qaeda was its enimity for Islamic fundamentalism?"

DoD officials announced that since capturing Osama bin Laden last Thursday they've had the truth under wraps, believing April 1st the most appropriate date to announce their massive sting operation.

While all the "news" was focused on the "disastrous" occupation of Iraq, massive US forces have been slowly, but thoroughly enveloping the Wajiristan region of Pakistan where bin Laden and his top lieutenants have been hiding out.

A blushing Dick Cheney admitted that implementing the ruse was his responsibility, "though no leader but George Bush could have pulled off the illusion of unrelenting fecklessness quite so convincingly."

According to Saddam Hussein, speaking from his Ft. Lauderdale condo, "Rummy and I have been planning this for years. When those photos of us shaking hands came out we were certain the jig was up. Fortunately Don was able to play up the 'insane and out of touch thing' he does so well."

In related news the administration announced that the half trillion dollars it had "spent" on the Iraq invasion would be used to establish a universal healthcare plan, and that the 3,200 American "dead" would soon be returning home from their vacations in Aruba.

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